Yesterday I went to Beit Oved for a meeting with the New York delegation, and I saw DInka again. I didn't even ask if I could have her with me during the meeting, but Ami and Rafi both offered to bring her to me as soon as I arrived at Bit Oved. They know my pain and know that having Dinka next to me helps a lot. I explained to the members of the New York delegation that every day of that trip is still fresh in my mind. Those were some of my last days with Suki, and when I remember them I realize how impressive Suki was, how well-behaved she was, and how she touched the hearts of everyone we met.
Yes, DInka is quite different than Suki. She is not the stunning large pedigree dog that Suki was, but she is sweet and lovely and I will bond with her and love her. I already know the feel of her shorter fur, the delicate, thinner ears, the slightly bushy tail with its dark brown color at the tip, and the special place where she likes to have her tummy rubbed. Certain things make me feel a comfortable familiarity with her: the way she folds one front paw like Suki used to do, the way she doesn't sit down quite all the way when I tell her to and she needs a little coaxing, the way she begins licking me when I get close to her face. She is ready to love and to be loved, and I am ready to love her and to accept her appection and loyalty. It will be hard work training with her, and harder to not compare her to Suki and to just let her be herself. I know that I must do this in order to be fair to DInka. She will be undergoing some dynamic and difficult changes in her life as well, and she will need love and support together with discipline and training. If just being with her for an hour or two is comforting, than I hope that being with her all the time will truly console me. I want the day to come when I can remember Suki fondly without crying, and without longing, but simply smile with fond memories of my first guide dog who was so very beautiful and special. I'm not ready for that yet. I cry for Suki often – at the pool, on the train, even while walking through the crowds at Azrieli Center where it is so difficult to get around without a guide dog. And I notice how people treat me when I use a cane. I don't feel that joy and pride I had when I walked with Suki, and people are helpful to the point where I feel overwhelmed. "Do you need help getting off the bottom of the escalator? Take my arm now and I'll help you out of the station, I have to go smoke anyway…Come on, the light is green, you can cross the street…" They are kind, but I feel overly swamped with this kindness, as if others perceive me as a person who constantly needs help. I cannot wait to have Dinka by my side, to trust and love a dog again. I recall endless moments with Suki, but the joy and security of having her with me seems like a distant lovely dream. It has been an endless nine weeks, and I still have two months until Dinka will be with me. It seems endless.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Let me Introduce Myself. I'm Dinka.
Gee, I feel a bit shy but I guess it's OK if I put in a few paw prints. I'm Dinka, I'm going to be Bracha's new guide dog, and in a couple of months this will be my blog.
When Rafi brought me into the lounge at Beit Oved yesterday I really didn't latch onto things right away. Rafi told Bracha that I was a bit aloof, and I felt that way at first, even after he handed Bracha my leash and she unclipped me. Suddenly Bracha reached into her purse and pulled out a rope toy and offered it to me. She had bought the toy especially for me to give me at our first meeting! As Rafi said, she knows how to treat dogs and has my needs and desires in mind. I accepted it happily and curled up on the rug to begin chewing. When Bracha got down on the floor next to me I was afraid she'd take it away again, so I moved to a new spot, but soon I let her sit next to me and I knew it would be OK. I turned over and she started scratching my tummy, and found that special place that makes me wiggle my hind leg…that did it. I was a goner.
Soon Bracha reached into her purse and I jumped up and trotted over to see if she had another surprise for me, but she pulled out a camera instead and started taking pictures of me. So here I am for you to see!
When Rafi and Natanel left the room I decided it was time to dispel this "aloof" image of myself, and embarked on a major licking of Bracha's face and hands. After all, Bracha was determined to start bonding with me despite her sadness over losing Suki, and I felt she deserved no less than that from me. I behaved beautifully during the meeting in Noach's office and lay quietly under her chair during lunch. After that Rafi let Bracha and me into a room, and we had some quiet time together and a long talk. Bracha told me a bit more about Suki, and assured me that she was eager to have me and love me. She was a bit tearful talking about Suki, and I lay down on the floor next to her to show her that I understood and would do my best to make her happy again.
It will be a couple of months before Bracha and I begin training together, and I have a lot more work to do. I was pretty distracted by that puppy Rafi deliberately placed in my path in the hallway, and Bracha gave me a gentle but firm leash correction. She knows what she is doing. But she's promised a lot of fun and play, too. I know that she's telling the truth because we played tug of war with the new toy every time I brought it to her. And between you and me, I heard something about our going to London together. So it looks like I'm in for some adventures even while Bracha and I are still forming our partnership.
I know I have some pretty big shoes to fill, because this was Suki's blog, and Suki was Bracha's wonderful beautiful dog, but I am determined to do my best. And something tells me I'm into something good.
When Rafi brought me into the lounge at Beit Oved yesterday I really didn't latch onto things right away. Rafi told Bracha that I was a bit aloof, and I felt that way at first, even after he handed Bracha my leash and she unclipped me. Suddenly Bracha reached into her purse and pulled out a rope toy and offered it to me. She had bought the toy especially for me to give me at our first meeting! As Rafi said, she knows how to treat dogs and has my needs and desires in mind. I accepted it happily and curled up on the rug to begin chewing. When Bracha got down on the floor next to me I was afraid she'd take it away again, so I moved to a new spot, but soon I let her sit next to me and I knew it would be OK. I turned over and she started scratching my tummy, and found that special place that makes me wiggle my hind leg…that did it. I was a goner.
Soon Bracha reached into her purse and I jumped up and trotted over to see if she had another surprise for me, but she pulled out a camera instead and started taking pictures of me. So here I am for you to see!
It will be a couple of months before Bracha and I begin training together, and I have a lot more work to do. I was pretty distracted by that puppy Rafi deliberately placed in my path in the hallway, and Bracha gave me a gentle but firm leash correction. She knows what she is doing. But she's promised a lot of fun and play, too. I know that she's telling the truth because we played tug of war with the new toy every time I brought it to her. And between you and me, I heard something about our going to London together. So it looks like I'm in for some adventures even while Bracha and I are still forming our partnership.
I know I have some pretty big shoes to fill, because this was Suki's blog, and Suki was Bracha's wonderful beautiful dog, but I am determined to do my best. And something tells me I'm into something good.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Dear Dinka,
Dear Dinka,
Let me introduce myself. I am Bracha. You don't know me yet, but I know that we are going to get to know each other very well. You see, you are going to be my guide dog and I am going to be your person!
Perhaps you remember me; Rafi took you to do a test walk with me in Rehovot. You probably sensed that I was confidently holding your harness and already knew how to walk with a guide dog, because soon Rafi unclipped his extra leash and let us walk alone. You did everything splendidly – leading me confidently down the sidewalk, pulling assertively on the harness, stopping at each corner, and then halting at the opposite side of the street with your front paws neatly placed on the curb, ready for the next command. But you may have sensed a certain sadness about me, a desire to have you and to love you, but not being quite ready to do that yet. I cried when Noach came to watch us walk, but that was not because of you at all.
So I think it is only fair that I explain what made me so sad when I was actually so delighted with you. There is something very important you need to know before we begin our partnership. I had a guide dog, Suki, whom I loved dearly. I did my best to give her a wonderful life of fun, play, and affection alongside hard work, and she gave me endless love and happiness and did her job with dedication and skill. She was also very beautiful: a large white golden retriever who captured everyone's heart with her dark soft eyes and fluffy white fur. Suki and I were inseparable for the past two years and nine months. But Suki is gone now, and I mourn her deeply. That is why I felt so sad when I was walking with you.
I know that from the moment we begin our partnership some of that sadness will disappear and be replaced with a new love for you. That is part of the healing process I must undergo, and together with time, my pain and sorrow at losing Suki will heal.
There will be a lot of things I will want to teach you, Dinka, but I promise to take things slowly and let you get used to things at your own pace. We will get to know each other and learn to work together and build our relationship. I promise to be patient and understanding. In my mind I might compare you to Suki, but I promise that I will love you for who you are. I will come to know all the exciting things that make you special, because I know that like Suki, you will be special, too! From my short acquaintance with you I sense that you are sweet, mischievous, and lovely.
Everything is waiting for you here, Dinka; a big soft bed, toys, and even shoes to keep your feet from getting burned on the hot pavements in summer. And I have a lot of things planned for us. You'll have to work hard, but there will be lots of fun too; running on the beach, swimming in the river, lying on the lawn at music festivals, lots of traveling, and maybe even trips abroad. We'll do all these things together, and I promise to take good care of you, to love you dearly, and to give you a happy life with me.
Suki was the dog who changed my life and introduced me to the wonderful world of being independent and working with a guide dog. You will be the dog who will bring me back into that world that I lost so suddenly and that I miss so much. I will always have a place in my heart for Suki, but you can be certain that there will be plenty of love for you as well. That love will grow and grow as time goes by, until I love you in the same total and unconditional way that I loved Suki. And I hope that our time together will be long, wonderful, and joyous for both of us. I'm looking forward to it.
So just be yourself, Dinka! I know we'll be fine.
Let me introduce myself. I am Bracha. You don't know me yet, but I know that we are going to get to know each other very well. You see, you are going to be my guide dog and I am going to be your person!
Perhaps you remember me; Rafi took you to do a test walk with me in Rehovot. You probably sensed that I was confidently holding your harness and already knew how to walk with a guide dog, because soon Rafi unclipped his extra leash and let us walk alone. You did everything splendidly – leading me confidently down the sidewalk, pulling assertively on the harness, stopping at each corner, and then halting at the opposite side of the street with your front paws neatly placed on the curb, ready for the next command. But you may have sensed a certain sadness about me, a desire to have you and to love you, but not being quite ready to do that yet. I cried when Noach came to watch us walk, but that was not because of you at all.
So I think it is only fair that I explain what made me so sad when I was actually so delighted with you. There is something very important you need to know before we begin our partnership. I had a guide dog, Suki, whom I loved dearly. I did my best to give her a wonderful life of fun, play, and affection alongside hard work, and she gave me endless love and happiness and did her job with dedication and skill. She was also very beautiful: a large white golden retriever who captured everyone's heart with her dark soft eyes and fluffy white fur. Suki and I were inseparable for the past two years and nine months. But Suki is gone now, and I mourn her deeply. That is why I felt so sad when I was walking with you.
I know that from the moment we begin our partnership some of that sadness will disappear and be replaced with a new love for you. That is part of the healing process I must undergo, and together with time, my pain and sorrow at losing Suki will heal.
There will be a lot of things I will want to teach you, Dinka, but I promise to take things slowly and let you get used to things at your own pace. We will get to know each other and learn to work together and build our relationship. I promise to be patient and understanding. In my mind I might compare you to Suki, but I promise that I will love you for who you are. I will come to know all the exciting things that make you special, because I know that like Suki, you will be special, too! From my short acquaintance with you I sense that you are sweet, mischievous, and lovely.
Everything is waiting for you here, Dinka; a big soft bed, toys, and even shoes to keep your feet from getting burned on the hot pavements in summer. And I have a lot of things planned for us. You'll have to work hard, but there will be lots of fun too; running on the beach, swimming in the river, lying on the lawn at music festivals, lots of traveling, and maybe even trips abroad. We'll do all these things together, and I promise to take good care of you, to love you dearly, and to give you a happy life with me.
Suki was the dog who changed my life and introduced me to the wonderful world of being independent and working with a guide dog. You will be the dog who will bring me back into that world that I lost so suddenly and that I miss so much. I will always have a place in my heart for Suki, but you can be certain that there will be plenty of love for you as well. That love will grow and grow as time goes by, until I love you in the same total and unconditional way that I loved Suki. And I hope that our time together will be long, wonderful, and joyous for both of us. I'm looking forward to it.
So just be yourself, Dinka! I know we'll be fine.
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